TR Hartley

(For more on the topic of joy, please see the articles “On Joy and Peace” and “Philippians 4: Paul Shows Us How to Functionally Center Ourselves on God“.)

As I’ve written in the articles linked above, the New Testament is clear: We are commanded to rejoice. (IE, see Romans 12:12, Phil 3:1, Phil 4:4, 1 Thes 5:16-18, James 1:2, etc.) Christians have been saved from spiritual death and separation from God, and brought into ever-lasting life as God’s adopted children. And because of that, Christians are called to live a life characterized by choosing to rejoice.

And that highlights a very obvious question: What about when we know we’re commanded to rejoice, but we just can’t seem to get there? What do we do about that?

Let’s try to answer that question from two different angles: 1) How to help others move towards joyfulness, and 2) How to move towards joyfulness ourselves.

Helping Others Move Toward Joyfulness

Let’s spend a few moments considering how we can help others when they need help with joy, and also

Galatians 6:1-2: Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. ² Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

The context that Paul is bringing here concerns sin, but I think this principle applies to all spiritual struggle, both sins and sorrows. So, if a Christian you know wants to press into joy but finds themselves unable to do so, don’t be religious at them! Don’t just say they need to fix themselves or “smile more” or any other heavy-handed, wrong-minded response.

We are to “mourn with those who mourn, and grieve with those who grieve.” (Romans 12:15)

So, what should we do instead?

We carry one another’s burdens. If someone can’t press into joy, then the other Christians around that person should press into prayer, fellowship, and service for them.

Rather than saying “choose joy” to a brother or sister in grief, say instead: “This will be a really hard season. What can I do for you during this time?”

Real “carrying one another’s burdens” might look like:

1. “I’m so sorry this economy is impacting your family in this way. I recently got a pretty nice bonus; can I pay for your childcare for the next six months?”
2. “If you really want to get closer to your spouse, prayer will be essential. Can I promise to pray for your spouse daily for the next month, and to text you reminders to pray, so that we can be praying together for this?”
3. “I really believe that prayer and fasting can change things on a spiritual level. Would you like to fast together for 48 hours next week?”
4. “Meal Trains” after people give birth or funerals are pretty commonplace. These are very helpful to create emotional and mental “margin” during challenging seasons. (Granted, the challenges of a funeral and a newborn are quite different, but both represent a significant challenge.)

Whether you’re volunteering to help financially (1), through prayer (2) [and I hope you’re always praying for other Christians that you know are in a hard season], fasting for other Christians (3), or by giving your time (4), I hope you seriously consider what it means to “bear one another’s burdens”. By seeking to create margin and support for those who are struggling, hopefully you are providing space for people to press into joy, you are coming alongside them in ways that tangibly express the kindness and nearness of God. (See Psalm 34:18)

Helping Ourselves Move Towards Joyfulness

I hear you. “Okay, that’s helpful for when I want to support other believers press into joyfulness… but right now, I can’t escape the reality that I’m feeling deeply anxious.” (Or crushingly sad, or overwhelmingly stressed, or whatever heavy emotion is weighing on you.)

What do we do when it’s not those around us, but us ourselves, that need help following the biblical command to rejoice?

I want to encourage you to do what is courageous, and seek out help from other Christians around you.

It takes a certain amount of vulnerability and honesty to admit to the Jesus-followers around you: “I’m really struggling to be joyful. I know that God is good, that He will use and redeem this hard season; I have a lot for which I’m grateful. But I’m feeling really discouraged right now.” That sort of admission seems shameful, and people often want to shy away from any such confession.

But.

If you aren’t walking in joy, why would you deny both yourself and God from you being a joyful servant?

To be completely honest, this is a constant struggle for me. Because I’ve been diagnosed with both depression and anxiety, I’m much better at encouraging others to walk in joy than I am at walking in joy myself.

And yet, God has commanded me to rejoice, and He is worthy to receive me living out my life in joyful surrender to Him.

So, just wallowing in stress, anxiety, depression, busyness, etc. ad nauseum isn’t an option.

What must I do? What must you do?

Be real with the people around you.

“I’m really hurting right now. I know I’m commanded to rejoice, and I don’t know how to functionally obey that command. Life, these circumstances, my own waywardness, all of these things are standing in my way. Would you please commit to be praying for me over the next several weeks?”

Or, “Would you be willing to call me each day and just check if I’ve spent time giving thanks that day? I could really use that accountability.”

Dear Christian, you are commanded to rejoice. If you cannot obey that command, bring that to the Christians around you. It will be hard, but it will bless you, and it will glorify God. And who knows? It might be your willingness to ask them for help today that brings them to ask you for help in the future. Maybe, just maybe, we as Christians can lead with vulnerability and weakness, not just with strength.

Conclusion

Christian joy was never meant to be something that we can attain on our own. In hard seasons, we all need the prayers, faith, and friendship of those around us to press into joy.

Who can you support today? Or, who can you have the courage to ask for support from today?

May God draw near to us as we seek to lovingly support and be supported by one another.

(One of the best things any Christian who’s struggling can do is press into gratefulness. For more on that, please see this article. Gratitude Article Link)