Many Christians look at the holiness of God, and their own continued struggles, and wonder if God is losing patience with them. “Have I sinned too much? How can He still forgive me?”
Let’s look to Scripture – not our own fears or traditions – to answer that question.
In summary, here’s what Scripture teaches: God is willing to forgive, over and over, a struggling Christian. Sin is a serious issue that needs to be addressed, but God remains committed to relationship with struggling Christians and sanctifying struggling Christians.
In this article, we will look briefly at a common misunderstanding of repentance, then turn to the Bible for a better understanding. Then, we’ll consider how to live repentance out, and then conclude with a few questions for consideration.
*Note: Much of this article was adapted from a previous article, “What Is (and Isn’t) Repentance?” Please see that article for further reading.*
A Problematic Misunderstanding of Repentance: “Did I/You/She/He/They Really Repent?”
I’ve known a number of sincere brothers and sisters in Christ who I believe wrongly understand repentance. I’ve heard sermons and had people tell me that real repentance means you don’t need to repent again. (This is a common teaching in Mormonism – which isn’t Christianity – as well. Spencer W. Kimball, a former President of the Church of the Latter-Day Saints once remarked, “True repentance does not permit repetition.”) If this is true, this means:
- If a man has really repented of his sex addiction, he’ll never look at porn again.
- If an alcoholic has really repented of their drunkenness, they’ll never get drunk again.
- If a gossip has really repented, they’ll never again tell salacious stories during a lunch with friends.
Why do these people think that’s how repentance works? Well, they often look at certain New Testament accounts of repentance. For example:
- Paul forever stopped persecuting Christians. (See Acts 26:9-20, Galatians 1:13)
- Peter forever stopped denying being Jesus’ disciple. (See Luke 22:54-62, Acts 4:18-20, 1 Peter 3:14-15)
- Zacchaeus went from being a tax collector (a greedy traitor who profits by harming other Jews and working for the hated occupying Roman army, eww) to a disciple of Jesus! He didn’t go back to being a tax collector, he was done with that. (See Luke 19:1-10)
And these are really good examples of a lifelong repentance! Lifelong repentance can and does happen, in the Bible and in the lives of the people of God.
But that claim, that “real repentance” means that you’re never going to succumb again to the sin over which you’re repenting, necessarily leads to some troubling implications. And those implications lead me to two questions.
First question: “UH-OH. Am I not really a Christian?” I would worry that I’ve never really repented of anything! I’m still screwed up and working on things. I’ve “repented” of being harsh towards my wife, but I still can be cranky or have a bad tone at times! Did that mean I didn’t really repent?
Second question: “Has anyone ever really repented of ‘hard’ sins?” I mean, sure, a murder can repent of murder and never kill anyone again, but has anyone ever really repented of selfishness? Or not being kind and gentle with people who annoy us? Has anyone ever really repented of pride? (Side note, have you noticed that people who claim to be completely humble generally come off as quite arrogant and self-promoting?)
What spouse has ever said “I wasn’t a good husband or wife by doing {X}, I’m sorry” and then has been a perfect spouse from that point forward?
We could also consider that there are sins of commission (doing the wrong thing) as well as sins of omission (not doing the right thing.) All of God’s people are called to love God with all their heart, soul, and mind (Matthew 22:37). Have you ever met someone who was always loving God fully (other than Jesus)? If this way of thinking is correct, you’ve never met someone who has repented of a lack of love towards God.
Now, please understand: I’m not trying to make excuses! I think obedience and our own moral decisions truly do matter. (See Statement of Belief, point 3.) But it seems like I am personally in big trouble, and also I’ve never seen “real” Christian repentance in anyone I know, if this understanding of repentance is correct.
Jesus Offers a Word of Hope
Fortunately for all of us, Jesus weighs in on this topic in Luke 17. Listen to Jesus’ words:
Luke 17:1-4: Jesus said to His disciples: “Things that cause people to stumble are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come. 2 It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck than to cause one of these little ones to stumble. 3 So watch yourselves.
“If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. 4 Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.”
Do you see it? Even if someone sins against you, then repents, then sins again, then repents again, over and over, Jesus still says “you must forgive him”.
I don’t think God is commanding us to extend more forgiveness or grace to others than He does to us. If you come to Him with sincere repentance, He won’t reject that!
So what does ‘sincere repentance’ look like?
How Do We Live Repentance Out?
Repentance is a matter of the present tense. Real repentance has to do with how you are currently responding to your current conviction.
You can really repent, and still struggle.
Is that the goal? Does God intend for us to be people who feel free to sin because we can just keep temporarily repenting?
Of course not. Let’s look at Romans 6:
Romans 6:15-18: What then? Shall we sin because we are not under the law but under grace? By no means! 16 Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? 17 But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you have come to obey from your heart the pattern of teaching that has now claimed your allegiance. 18 You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.
Repentance isn’t what frees us to sin. Repentance is what frees us from sin. Repentance is the process by which God transforms us from “slaves to sin” into “slaves to righteousness”.
Biblical repentance is how we respond to the conviction of the Holy Spirit.
Let’s look at the words of Paul in Galatians 5:
Galatians 5:13-26: You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. 14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
It seems to me that repentance is how we keep in step with the Spirit (verse 25). When we receive a revelation, an understanding of “oh, I’m doing the wrong thing, I’m out of alignment with God”, we then respond by seeking to get back into step with Him! Whether that’s realizing that we’re being harsh, or that the information we’re sharing is actually more based in gossip than concern, or that our primary motivation for piety is impressing other people rather than pleasing God… whatever the revelation is, when that realization comes, we do something about it.
That’s what repentance is: To turn to God and act differently when we realize we’re doing, or have previously done, something wrongly, or when we realize we haven’t been doing what is right.
Will you act in righteousness – for the rest of your life – after you act out that realization? Probably not.
But repentance doesn’t necessitate being perfectly aligned with God in the future, or for the rest of your life. Repentance has to do with becoming realigned with God right now.
Similarly, repentance isn’t just feeling bad. It’s easy to realize you’ve done the wrong thing, and feel shame or regret without ever turning to God. Repentance isn’t just having a negative emotion over your wrongdoing, it’s taking that emotion of guilt or shame, and the sin that caused that, to God in confession and contrition.
I think that’s what Paul is getting at in 2 Corinthians 7.
2 Corinthians 7:9-10: “…yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. 10 Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.”
Godly grief points you to God. Worldly grief is remorse that doesn’t point you towards God, and things that don’t lead towards God lead towards death.
Let’s consider a two more passages of Scripture:
1 John 1:6-10: If we claim to have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin.
8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we make Him out to be a liar and His word is not in us.
Hebrews 4:14-16: Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet He did not sin. 16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
Let me say it again: God is willing to forgive, over and over, a struggling Christian. Sin is a serious issue that needs to be addressed, but God remains committed to relationship with struggling Christians and sanctifying struggling Christians.
Conclusion
God has more kindness and patience towards us than our fears or doubts would dare to hope. After all, His love for us is based on who He is, not on who we are! (See 1 John 4:10.)
A few questions for us to consider:
1) Do I question God’s commitment towards me? Do I think I’ve somehow lost His favor, His willingness to forgive me?
2) If so, does Scripture agree with me? What would Scripture say to me?
3) How can I encourage other Christians to turn to God, even with their failures? Whom do I need to talk to?
May God grant us faith to turn to Him, as often as needed, day in and day out, trusting in His continued grace for us.
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